Housework Renegade Gifts

"I dreamed that I stopped doing your laundry."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

A DIY disaster.

'Our Filipino dog's a real treasure.'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Washing Line Walker

A holiday at home

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

'But you said to clean my room.'

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

Housewife: Out of Order.

'I imagine you'd like to hear about my progress...'

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

"I did my 10,000 steps by looking for my reading glasses."

Man running from desk: 'I can't seem to get away from my work lately.'

'How should I know how things are at home, I moved into the pub a month ago.'

"I'll never understand wallpaper."

Sif instantly regretted asking Thor to hang the picture.

Organized chaos.

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

"You can count on my unloading the dishwasher in any number of alternate timelines. Now whether it occurs in this one..."

"I know this is going to sound completely crazy and off the wall - but do you, by any chance, know how to iron?"