Household Solutions Pillows

"New super select-a-size! 1/2 sheet, 1/4 sheet, 1/8 sheet (make-up remover), 1/16 sheet (spider killer), 1/32 sheet (booger getter), 1/64 sheets (zit squeezers)."

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

'Our Filipino dog's a real treasure.'

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"I had to skip my workout."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

It's Your Turn to Do the Dishes Tonight!

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

Moses unblocking the toilet.

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

"Here's your sweater back."

"Hello?"

"How many times have I told you kids to turn off the light when you leave a room?!"

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

man juggling career, home and children

'Anything need fix'n around here? I mean besides the lamp I just broke.'

'It's a new record, mom - there are six of us in here!'

Iron Lady and Iron Man

"Okay, you two! Clean up the house and do the laundry while I take the kids to school!"

I'd like to request a transfer to a household offering a higher allowance and fewer choices.

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

Jason and the Aga notes.

"Well, dear, you can quit worrying about our roof!"

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

"The last time we ordered take-out I was up all night doing laundry."

"Where's a fairy godmother when you need one?"

One young wife asking another if she finds it more economical to do her own cooking.

'All the money we saved buying bulk food on sale we blew on this huge freezer!'

"Frankly, I can't really understand why my husband would be referred to as a "Domestic Cat": he does nothing around the house..."

"I managed a house with four kids, three dogs, and twelve plants. How's that for management experience?"

Cordless Drill and Drill Less Cords.

Finally, I found a good use for that leak.