Household Projects Pillows

"Well, dear, you can quit worrying about our roof!"

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

A Good Batch.

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Man using to much bug spray

The Hobby Store

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"He built his own airplane from a kit."

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

'Tut! Men and their sheds, eh?'

Directions: Call a smart friend.

"I'm starting my own delivery service. Is there anything you want to borrow from my Dad?!"

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."