Home Project Hobbyist Pillows

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

A DIY disaster.

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

'I think you should seek treatment for that Lego block obsession of yours!'

Your Home Remodel Team

"It's a miracle I was able to build this desk all by myself. I'm not so handy."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Bob’s Museum

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

Wallpapering with Nails

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

'... And that's where I'm seeking planning permission to build a secret uranium enrichment plant...'

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'

"They've got insulation to die for!"

"Can't we just get some load-bearing wallpaper?"

House Painter gets stuck to the ceiling.

'As a kid I was always taking things apart...so, anyway, that's when my parents stopped getting me pets.'

"Larry does all his own stunts."

"Tell me, do you own a mallet with a rubber shaft?"

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

Now Playing On Your Phone: Other People's Craft Projects....

"I've fixed the shelf, darling."

"Buying the largest TV on the market was a good idea. Mounting it was not."

"Shall I kiss it better?"

Translating Contractor to English

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'