Household Chore Avoider Gifts

Instructions: Let wife do the washing

Kitchen Tetris

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

It's Your Turn to Do the Dishes Tonight!

Washing Line Walker

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'He claims to be a recovering workaholic.'

"Harold! Don't forget to get the eggs!"

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

"You'll do anything to get out of taking out the garbage."

"Can you train him to bite my husband whenever the trash gets full?"

"...I love the smell of an uncut lawn."

"It's your turn to shovel the perch."

"Sorry Mrs. Tate. There's no cure for Not-Taking-Out-The-Garbage-Itis."

"Don't you dare touch that snooze button!"

Kid sweeps dirt under his junk on the floor.

'It's your night to catch dinner.'

Why do chicks dig vampires? They're forbidden, immortal. They have unimaginable strength. They visit at night, bringing wisdom and sensuality. And if they don't take out the trash or mow the lawn you can burn them to death with sunlight! Yikes. They can get housework done while I sleep.

"Just empty it."

"Uh, it's the funniest thing honey... None of my power tools seem to work! I guess those projects will have to wait..."

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

"They don't look like the tools you'll need to put the kitchen shelves up with!"

'Got'a be done I s'pose.'

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

'He claims to be a recovering workaholic.'

No caption. (A woman folding laundry from the dryer is looking at a mouse folding laundry from a mousehole on the side of the dryer).

You mean none of you took out the trash? Why you rarely see a female polygamist.

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

Nate Sure Abhors a Vacuum!

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

"It's my "To-Do" list if I ever get the energy..."

"Not to complain but you promised to mow the lawn."

"Well, it will just have to wait."