House-sitting Advocate Gifts

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"I can tell it's new because it's alive."

"So, then, I guess the Johnsons are feeding our clothes."

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

"Privare equity bought the dam and jacked up rent. Nests are next."

"And what do you think of the government's record on housing?"

"The government prefers to see it as a flexible, environmentally friendly building option that fits within our current funding projections."

Homeless count.

"And that's when they left for vacation!"

House hunting is cruel.

'Me, I'm home-schooled: Getting to and from school was taking too much of my time...'

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

Although in hindsight, maybe she said feed the cat and water the plants.

"I'm afraid your M.B.A. loses some of its lustre in light of the fact that you were home-schooled."

"Charlie's really interested in co-operative housing..."

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"Hmmm, as far as I can gather, unfortunately, it is an eviction notice: we need to find a new home. . ."

"There, that's better!"

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

"We're sitting on a landbank that could accommodate tens of thousands of new homes. We can wait a few years and generate even more profit..."

"Sorry honey, but moving boxes are sold out everywhere because of the rising rents..."

From learning how to use an oven to overthrowing the system.

Thanks for house sitting!

"Just to let you know - we're putting up your rent again..."

"Can we get you another soda, Johnny?"

'It's a perfect starter teepee.'

Cut and Paste.

"What do you mean, you got evicted?"

"He's co-dependant, I usually board him, but the conference is only three days. Just make sure to let him out from nine to five to do his business. Oh – and treats are in the liquor cabinet."

Stay at Home, Save Lives, Coronavirus.