House Sitting Hero Gifts

"Thanks for taking care of my plant. You really don't need a 'green thumb', she isn't picky."

Domestic Superheroes!!

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

'Caw blimey!'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"I can tell it's new because it's alive."

The household cavalry

"So, then, I guess the Johnsons are feeding our clothes."

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

"I did my 10,000 steps by looking for my reading glasses."

'Restaurant' in bad need of staff

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

'Daddy, what did you do on Armed Services Day?'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

And so Bob's folks sent him off into the world. But not before running a few last tests, just to be sure he could handle it.

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

Rising Housing Costs vs Wages.

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

Homeless count.

The Waiter

"Walking down here and asking if I can get you some more detergent from the store is just the beginning of my fence-mending agenda."

"Okay, you two! Clean up the house and do the laundry while I take the kids to school!"

'The chef wants to know if you mind having the dessert tomorrow...'

Fast Food Restaurant