House Share Survivor Gifts

So...this is the roommate. Awkward...

Evil Exams!

Garrett knew it was important to jeep his brain from overheating during big tests.

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

Emergency Pants

Fairy Tales. The piggy bank's been smiling a lot lately. He's the only one who didn't lose his savings in the stock market meltdown.

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

'McWit Plumbing and Lite Puff Pastries.' The only way to survive in today's economy it's good to diversify.'

"I'm starting up a concierge medicine practice. You in?"

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

'He needs professional HELP!'

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, so we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

"All in favor of changing out name from '17th Federal Savings & Loan' to 'Still Here Bank'..."

'What luck!'

'I'll have what's left of my people get in touch with what's left of your people.'

"Charlie's really interested in co-operative housing..."

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

"Let's first talk about how you could have done worse."

Sign reading "Bought High; Sold Low."

Welcome centre

"Mr. Crusoe, you have some heft overdue fines."

'Because in this economy you make a few compromises for job security.'

"I invested $1000 in Nortel and now my shares are worth 18 cents."

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

Stranded Techie Needs Batteries

- whilst central heating is inclined to loosen their leaves."