House Proud Poser Gifts

'After reading this description you've done of our house, we've decided not to move.'

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

Yoga classes door.

"Oh, this old thing?"

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

Yoga with Baby

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

'Are you done yet?'

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

Man and Woman suck in their stomachs in order to impress.

"Neat Nick!": Tidiest cowboy in the west

Bird in sunglasses balancing on a stick.

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

"I'm going to throw this contract out the window, hargraves. Bring it back to me and make sure someone's signature is on it."

'Sorry about the blindfolds girls, but I haven't had time to tidy up.'

Artist's model for a painting of Hamlet turns up to the studio with a black eye

Everest summit queue...

Yoga Class. Ernie, check this out -- The "lotus" position! Looks more like the "low-tush" position!

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is serious. We have now fallen behind Japan in the manufacture of American flags."

Whatever

"You have Tech-neck."

Selfie

'And make sure the house is clean before the cleaner arrives.'

My dad loves his lawn.

"My mum won a prize at the agricultural show too! Her painting got first prize for landscape painting in the arts and crafts division..."

Baldo and Cruz try to look good as women in bikinis walk by."

Nude model looking at her portrait.

'Mum...Dad...I'm Gaelic.'

"He's not local, he's from a catalogue"

'But first, could you loan me some money for film?'

'I won't look in the trunk of your car if you don't look in my basement.'

Art vs Nature

Taking selfies

'George can't resist showing guests the new extension.'

"I'd invite you in, but I have a white couch."