House Problem Challenger Gifts

'Pack your things we're moving.'

"Greta, look! The first dysfunctional family of winter!"

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

#notblessed

'It's a government funded study to find out how many wrongs make a right.'

Realizing that his youth was now behind him, Mr. Twigly left home at the sight of his first gray hare.

Clive would be lost without his morning heart starter.

"It would keep me awake all night, but I'm up for a game of coffee pong first thing in the morning."

'Sorry...I don't do hugs!'

In the Days Before Coffee

'Before I send in my taxes,I want to know if I'm going to be audited.'

'This is his diary... Listen: 'Polar Circle, 8th of December. I still don't believe in Global warming...' '

'Would it be more economical for them to develop their own comparable product, or steal the competition's formulae and fight it out in the courts?'

"And now Professor Weyfeld, of Columbia University, with some liberal claptrap."

"Before I say anything, I'd like to have my friend, who wants to be a lawyer when he grows up, present"

'Not getting into university is not going to stop me doing the things I hoped to do...'

"Pudits tell me what to think. TV tells me what to watch. Ads tell me what to buy. You really care about my opinion?"

"One of you will have to remain behind."

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

'I hate it when medical waste washes up on shore. Just look at all these denial of service letters.'

"How long have I been typing on a waffle maker."

"Shame on you!. . . For disagreeing with us!"

Deprived areas receive six times more cuts to public health budgets.

Leaf falling in the desert

'That's it, I'm leaving: The new owners are keeping the house way too clean and tidy...'

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

"How are we supposed to eat homework when it's all digital?"

'Our company can deliver these stickers for only 9.99 euros a thousand.'

Man in cage at tax office

'In accordance with company policy to explore alternative ideas...'

Surviving the credit storm.

...at least I won the bet with my precosious ballet dancing Granddaughter!

'Can you explain to me why you're not fit to work?'

"I'm going to mail this tax return and then go to confession."