Hound Hearted Gifts

'I'm not sure I can trust this new dog of mine.'

'That was fun!'

Love a Mutt

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

News and Magazines. Tax Bill Debate. The trickle-down can never compete with siphon-up.

"O.K., next time around let's ease up on the vibrato."

Doggie door in The Pearly Gates.

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"Consider yourself chased."

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

'No need to shout.'

'Good dog!'

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

"See? This is what I'm talking about! If you always show how happy you are to see everyone, you give them all the power in the relationship!"

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"... and the fact that I ain't never caught a rabbit should have no bearing on our friendship."

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

Dog to dog: 'I hate the way pointers are always blaming somebody else.'

'...Basset Hound! Anal sacs!'

'Fred, we've been together too long!'

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

Canine Scent-ipede

"And yet, I too am a still life."

"It's a fantastic character reference..."

Bingo's Time Out - Part Four

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

Lawyer to client: 'Yes, your turnover at the pastry shop would fall under tort law.'

'Urgh!. . . That's disgusting.'

'Ok, you can stay, but that emotional baggage has gotta go!'