Hotel Historian Gifts

Biliard Enthusiast

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Old fashioned Christmas shopping

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

"At the Christmas Artifacts Museum"

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

'I really felt at home there. The food was awful!'

Room service.

Sparrow Hilton

'Room service? Please send up some fish oil.'

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

'I brought my mini bar with me.'

Musings of a Marooned Mountain Man

Medical Emergencies on Holiday.

Keeper giving Lords best position for shooting

Rational explanations

happy bellboy carrying suitcases

"When I was a kid? Well...me and your dad would just head out the back door and pick our tree!" "Wow! Grandpa owned a plastics factory!"

"I'm so tired I can't think straight. Give me a room that's idiot-proof."

Chamber Pot - En Suite

'Ah, you must be the cleaner. I'm the dirtier.'

The world's oldest braided rug

Frank and Ernest's tips for travelers. When traveling makes you congested ... call rheum service. Sniff.

"I thought you said you paid extra for a cabinet with a Seaview."

The devolution of the NHS

"Look! The name is Donder! Not Donner! It's Donder! Got it? Good!"

'Oh, those are just for show. We don't have electricity.'

Motel Check-In. Would you like a wake-up call?

"Is that the corporate rate?"

Santa is not welcome amongst the Magi.