Restaurant Historian Gifts

Diner. Out of business. It's been a pleasure serving you. It's very said that "restaurant chain" has a new meaning these days.

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

Grandma's caf

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

Advanced footsie

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'I was in the catering corps.'

The Velvet Mesquite

Crossing the Nachos Grande

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

"....and hold the garlic."

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

Platter confusion.

'Whatever he's eating.'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"Our cook caught today's special. What makes it so special is that we have no idea what it is. We're coping it's edible."

'Good thing you ordered a double portion.'

Biliard Enthusiast

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

"I'm glad you're open again."

'If Darwin had been the cook on the Beagle' 'Menu- its Evolution'.