Hosting A Party T-Shirts

'You're cleaning the house. Who's coming over?'

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

"I agree that Harry is loud and cliche. I'd ask him to leave...but this is his house!"

'What exactly is this darling, in case I have to describe to later to a doctor?'

Jeff makes some room for the beer for his party.

Upbeat conversation/downbeat conversation.

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Wine Lady

Join me in a Martini?

Party time.

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"They make an awfully big thing of cookouts."

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"If you dress in a costume that they can't figure out, they feel guilty and give you more candy."

Barbecue

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

Mini Bar

'Tea minus one hour thirty minutes and ten seconds.'

'Thanks for having us and I'm really sorry about the cheeseball. Honestly, I didn't realise I was meant to share it.'

"If they don't show up soon I'll have to admit I forgot to invite them."

"Two questions: What time are the guests arriving, and do you still want me to slice the pepperoni?"

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

'If you'll excuse me, I'm going to work the room.'

'Hey hon, everyone and their dog is here!'

"When we grow up we can eat snacks BEFORE dinner and call them hors d'oeuvres!"

'Just bring a few hundred sausages, plenty of wine and of course your barbeque.'

'The three essentials for any wine are terroir, the producer and how envious it makes your guests.'

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

"I'm hanging tough, guys, but have I mentioned how much I resent you for always making me hold the table?"