Hospitality Satirist Gifts

'I know we asked for a room with running water,but...'

Don

No shirt, no shoes, no service.

'You were lucky to catch us in - we didn't know you were coming!'

Pull Grandma's Plug...

Ice Cream Surgeon

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

Providing Healthcare For All

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'As you know, medical costs have skyrocketed -- that'll be fifty cents.'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

We can't call the doctor, we can't call the nurse, we have to call the lady with the alligator purse.

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

'Take one of these three times a day until you start to feel better.'

'It feels warm enough to me.'

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

Scary Halloween ICD-10 codes.

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

"Of course I believe in unions - Where do you think we doctors would be without the A.M.A.?"

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."

"Look, look … someone wrote unoperable."

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

If the NHS designed cars...They'd probably be the worst cars in the world.

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

"I suppose it was bound to come to this."