Hospital Regulation Observer Gifts

'You know the rules, Mr Dotterill - you're only allowed one visitor at a time.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

He used to pass the buck, since being promoted to management he gets to call it delegating authority.

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

'Chicken Farms - Pecking Order'

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

'Long shift?'

'I miss telling people they can't have a day off to be with their sick children!'

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

'Whatever it is, you've got it bad and that ain't good.'

"I don't know how to tell you this, but it looks like you have a brain the size of a walnut."

"What we need in this organisation is more personal contact."

'How dare they make these kind of suggestions?!'

'I suppose it was a blessing. Toward the end he was finding it very difficult to remain competitive.'

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

"What should we do with this extra part?"

You are here.

Minister rubbishes private sector hospital initiative.

How many workers does it take to put up a Christmas decoration?

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

"Today we insure every American and end the need for private health insurance."

"You know it's the American drug companies that give you the headache that is cured by the pills they sell you."

'This doesn't look good.'

C'mon, Bob, the associate chases the manager's tail, the manager chases the VP's tail, and the VP chases my tail for me – You know how this works.

"At our company everything is based on trust. You can trust that you can trust no one."

"Rumours of a crisis in the NHS are groundless...Spending is up by 2%, management ratios down by 62%..."

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

Playing doctor: 'This time I get to play the HMO bureaucrat who decides if you live or die.'

'The medical society says yes, the hospital says maybe and his lawyer says no.'

No matter where he worked, Frank always found himself six cubicles of separation removed from the fun crowd.

"I'm sorry, Mr Percival, but what you've got is not economically treatable."

"Well, I'll be - he cut and ran."

"To give him credit...normally I think these staff 'consultations' are a complete waste of time...but he's been in his office all morning working on our ideas."

"I'm writing to mother to let her know how you're doing.Is deathbed one word or two?"