Hospital Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

MRI Magician

'I like your spirit - nine out of ten people would admit roller-disco wasn't for them!'

'No need to worry - I'm a master butcher!'

"Since Dr Mullin's ill, a temp from Manpower will perform your liver transplant."

Hell's Angels

"I'm still worried about not finding the end of your finger."

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"I hope for your sake that my watch stopped!"

"This will shift it."

Kid sells underwear outside of hospital emergency doorway.

'Still no signs of your husband's memory returning!'

'Honestly-I've never seen anyone take so long to disrobe!'

'I'm sorry, Doctor, but you told me to exhale!'

'Damn it Carson. When I said 'cut it out' I meant your irritating whistle...not his stomach!'

Extreme health food restaurants: "Just check off what you want and we'll bring your tray around."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

The Friendship Between Death and the Doctor.

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."