Hospital Hallways Wanderer Gifts

Shirley Temple...The later years.. - 'Animal crackers in my poop...'

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

"Okay, I've got lousy bedside manner, but I draw a smiley faces on all your prescriptions."

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

'Which arrow points to my office?'

'I'm sorry, but I can't tell you which room the star basketball player is recovering in.'

'We've been told to get families more involved in patient care, he'll need a bath and lunch in about 30 minutes.'

Hospital Visit

Elderly lady about elderly man: 'We met in ICU. We had a rheumatic encounter.'

"I would not recommend you bypass heart surgery."

'There's been a little mixup, Mr. Root. The computer has the virus not you.'

Mega Corp. Last Rest Stop for 37 Doors.

Neuro Surgery. Staff only. Sorry, that took longer than I expected --- He has a lot of nerve!

"We must be in the wrong wing."

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

"I'm sending you to someone who's less squeamish."

'Let's order one more MRI, just to play it safe.'

Medical floor directory follows body parts.

'It's going to take me ten hours to read your care instructions and your insurance only covers an hour of care.'

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'

"Is she critical?"

"Actually, what doesn't kill you just raises the cost of everyone's insurance"

'I don't need to go to a gym. One of my classroom management strategies is to circulate frequently around the room. I figure I walk three miles a day.'

Medical mishap.

Boy tricking the nurse

Unsuitable hospital reading material.

'My husband was recently admitted. Can you direct me to the hypochondria department?'

CITY HALL DEPARTMENT 230179-B. 'Why, yes, you are in the right office -- Who told you how to get here?'

'Always the last place you look.'

Injured man sees that he is being taken to the 'No Biggie Room', as opposed to the 'Emergency Room.

'No, I'm not here to see the doctor-just the magazines.'

'I want to change to another doctor, because I've read all of the magazines in your waiting room.'

'-and the look on his face when you overtook him in the Car Wash!'

"Hey anesthesiologist! Pay attention!"