Hospital Board Member Gifts

"It's the hospital board performing surgery on the budget."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"The meeting will come to order."

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'