Horse Talker Gifts

"What does 'giddyup' even mean?"

Braiding a Horse's Tail

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

Dang! My shorts are riding up on me again!

'This goes way beyond just keeping the flies off me...I'm fighting crime now too!'

A Girl and Her Horse

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

'Where's my horse?'

"Now, let your inner ‘bad dog’ answer the question ..."

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

"You know what the Serengeti lacks?—Decent deserts."

"Just badly sprained thank goodness... I was so scared it might be broken..."

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

Mister Oedipus.

Ezra's purchase of an off-brand gps device meant he'd never get the chance to make his horse drink,

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

'I don't know why, but my cowboy seems to have an obsession with riding into the sunset...'

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

"Well, I finally saw a shrink today."

'You think you're better than me, don't you?'

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

Inappropriate horse whispering.

A man selling a horse to an older lady

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

Foreigner ready for the hunt

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

YOUR HORSE - Poster style outlining horse parts.

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.