Horse Lover With A Twist Gifts

'I said Mascarpone not Mask A Pony!'

'Who said that horses aren't carnivores?'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Skipping Horse

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"They're comfortable."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

A very young man being hired as a groom.

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

'You must be fast, agile and unflappable! Having fun just got serious ponies....welcome to gymkhana!

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

And you will know it has all be worth it when he's up and about again.

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

Diner

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

Gym Dog

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

Roget's Pet

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

"Waving the hat keeps the cattle moving and lets my hair get some highlights."

ONE HORSE TOWN

A Girl and Her Horse

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'