Horror Comedy Buff Gifts

Zombie stand up

'Instead of one of our dishes you want to eat me? Just a minute, sir.. I've go to ask the manager.'

"Oh for God's sake, Vera, don't be so squeamish!"

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Edgar Allen Poe

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

Cat Nip.

Horror movies

Backfire

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

Cheeze Wiz.

"Bloody hell!"

'He does lack social skills.'

Zombies.

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

He looks so natural lying there...

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

The Golfing Accident

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

"Werewolves of London..."

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

"Is there a vegan option?"

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

No, this is the red lagoon, the black one is down the road a bit.