Hooked Humorists Gifts

Fishermen catching each other as fish looks on.

'You lifted your head.'

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

'I'll never let my love of fishing come between us.'

Brian the dog#3 - Brian now realised he was NOT man's best friend.

Man sitting on bank with pulling up fishing with sign from fish attached to hook: Gone fishin'.

'Pink isn't EITHER the new black!'

And overcoming their resistance by sheer skill.

Mary Margaret, the best bar nun.

'Therapy in L.A.'

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

'He did it for us.'

"You know very well what fish!"

"Wait, you mean to tell me they sometimes catch and then don't release?"

"Not moonshine - small batch, artisanal grain alcohol."

"Ha! You mean you've only caught one fish all day?!"

"What's the difference between being addicted to painkillers and just really, really liking them a lot?"

'I wrote on this piece of cardboard because the teleprompter is broken. Just say something about technical difficulties and we'll be right back after these messages or whatever. Just don't read this on air!'

Menace.

"Money or your beard!"

'I just had to come over...You caught my eye.'

"You must cut down on your smoking."

"Ooooohhh, now that's what I call a piercing."

"This space intentionally left blank."

Kiss the Hook

'Keep it simple, cupid!'

Turkey Hotline

'I had to have my pacemaker readjusted since I asked Jesus into my heart.'

"You're not going to eat me are you? Have you never heard of mad worm disease?"

"Can we please sign off just one night without the national anthem?"

'I hit my thumb with a hammer.' - 'Well, it wouldn't happen if you hold the hammer with both hands.'

Spot the ballcock

'Those flashers make no sense to me. The less they have, the more they want to show it.'