Honor Roll Enthusiasts Pillows

"Yes it's a great report card, all A's and B's... But I wonder how your teacher got your name wrong?"

'Your punishment for not making the honor roll this quarter is to scrape off the bumper sticker.'

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"You can't blow out the candles. You're rolled."

Bumper Stickers on a Cowboy's Horse

Mall Santa's Anonymous: 'Holidays are always the hardest - especially Christmas.'

Proof you've made it Loud Annoying The voices raised against you

'I'm Stacey, whose mother is the proud parent of an honor student.'

'Am I bald?'

"I call it riding Rob Dunkin's coattails. Miss Vega calls it copying."

How was your college tour? Good. Now I need straight A's and 375 extracurriculars to get in. You're exaggerating. Easy for you to say. You've got a 4.0. Yeah, but

Barn Wedding

Caveman to caveman: 'I just learned to walk - gimme a high five!'

Corned Turtle on a Kaiser

Captain Tom Moore

Teacher: 'Billy-y-y! Keep your eyes on your own paper!'

'I'd love to be in Who's Who.'

It was easy to make Charlie laugh. (Sign: Will do rimshots for money)

Overnight Sensation

"O.K., don't e-mail this to anyone, but we're shorting black big time."

Have you ever known anyone famous? I have. I've always been great friends with Randy "The Rock" Taylor. What? That's you. Carry yourself like everyone knows you, and everyone you meet will feel like they SHOULD know you. HEY, YOU ALL OVER THERE! YOU KNOW ME! You don't carry things with your mouth.

You ever see a great action movie and then feel like the hero? How so? Y'know, you kind of pick up the hero's vibe for a couple of days. I guess. Why do you ask? Monkey and I saw King Kong last night. Thump thump thump thump. Under attack!

"I didn't make the Dean's list, but I made the Principal's list."

Toilet roll wars

Beggar dressed as Elvis sits near a sign: Elvis impersonator down on his luck. Please help. Thank you very much. Huh.

I'm on the honor system.

'Well, if you can't be an honor student, can't you at least cheat off one?'

'Remember, you said if I became an honor student, you wouldn't embarrass me with one of those bumper stickers.'

Two oars doing a high five.

Vinny couldn't wait to tell his parents...He was the first Dung Beetle in his family to make the honor roll.'

Panic Buying

"No, your grandfather didn't go to heaven. He went to the football hall of fame."

My Child is an Honor Student but disappoints me in other ways.