Honor Roll Family Fan Pillows

My Child is an Honor Student but disappoints me in other ways.

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

George Washington's sister was always getting him into trouble.

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

Bumper Stickers on a Cowboy's Horse

"Careful George. You don't want to hurt our baby boy."

'Quit playing kick ball with your brother!'

"This is my son...I want him to work his way up all the way from the bottom- even if it takes all day."

'I'm Stacey, whose mother is the proud parent of an honor student.'

"Dad! Woody's taking all the fun out of the Easter egg hunt!"

Freak Family.

Mom - You gave me the best years of your life.

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

"Somehow, Daniel, you're not as cute as you used to be, and you're beginning to lose our attention."

"A phony attorney…I'm so disappointed, son. Your brother is a phony doctor."

"Oh, now I remember you. You live in that big shoe on the corner."

'Dad, can you just drop me off here?'

"I call it riding Rob Dunkin's coattails. Miss Vega calls it copying."

"I'm having an identity crisis. I can't keep track of whether I'm Nana, Mimi, or Grandma Wolcott."

"When you kiss me Daddy, your whiskers tickle me!"

'That's what you get for reaching in the cookie jar.'

'Are you sure your grandpa REALLY got your nose?'

Teacher: 'Billy-y-y! Keep your eyes on your own paper!'

'Well, my Dad doesn't care how big you are, Mr. Jones. He'll still knock your block off!'

Thanksgiving Smackdown

"Oh good. Here comes Mrs. Wood with her grandson, the Achilles heel."

"Happy Mothers Day."

'Nosy neighbors need to mind their own business.'

Supermum.

"I didn't make the Dean's list, but I made the Principal's list."

Second Wedding Cake

'Your punishment for not making the honor roll this quarter is to scrape off the bumper sticker.'

"Cold feet!"