Homilies Gifts

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

"As a member of the Sunday praise team you are not allowed to "change it up", whenever you feel led."

"I have an app for that."

"If you prayed to Google instead of God, you might get a constructive response."

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

Heart-shaped guitar

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

The little search engine: I think I can, I know I can.

'I'm about to say my prayers, Dad. Do you want more pocket money too?'

Genie.

"I wonder if he's talking to me?"

"Why do I bother to evangelize online when no one listens?"

"Look...the Pope's not stoppin' by for a little chit chat! He's here to admonish you and revoke your powers in the name of God!"

"If I had three wishes, my last wish would be to only have two wishes."

"What d'you say we try sneaking out before the last one?"

'Until this year, I couldn't find the meaning of life...but then I switched search engines.'

"How much do you tip your genie?"

They're short of staff!

Celestial reading lamp.

'Not bad - a bit preachy.'

Cricketer uses computer search engine called 'Googly'.

'I do wish you would stop asking for change back when they pass the plate.'

"Okay, what's your second wish?"