Homework Humorist Gifts

'Nice try, Billy, but dogma is not a puppy's mother!'

"Don't go to my teacher's house. All she ever gives out is homework."

Dog to dog: 'Homework is an acquired taste.'

'You reach an age where shredded homework is a lot easier to digest.'

'No, I didn't study for the test. I only study for every other one. I do just enough to stay out of trouble, but not enough to be labeled gifted. They have to do way too much homework.'

"I got a no TV for a week in math, a no dessert for a month in history, and a just wait 'til your father gets home in social studies."

'I wish you had chosen a more pertinent educational issue than 'Do Dogs Actually Eat Homework?''

'Let's see... that's one 'last week's leftovers' and two 'third grader's homework', right?'

'He takes his doodling very seriously.'

"My dog didn't eat my homework. My husband did."

Homework Disposal

"You want a hand-written report? But my pen doesn't have spellcheck."

"Hello, class. I'm your new teacher, Ms. Sims. I like dogs, so I try to give tasty homework."

"My Uncle John says your homework assignments are nothing short of torture!"

'This note from your teacher says you're doing great for a six year old. Doesn't she know you're fifteen?'

'I'm having trouble with math. Is math an acquired taste?'

SPOT BELOVED COMPANION 2004-2010, 'I told you not to let him eat your homework!'

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

"Before the bell rang our teacher gave us homework...to go!"

'You'll have to bring in your own refrigerator.'

'Children, my dog ate your homework.'

'Finish your homework first, Og... then you can watch the wall.'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

'We're looking for someone who is willing to just do their job.'

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

'I was just ringing to see if you'd got the email about my letter.'

"So you wouldn't be interrupted while interviewing me, I took the liberty of calling in a bomb threat."

'You say here that hard work doesn't scare you as long as you hide your eyes.'

'The candidate must be decisive and independently minded.' - 'Would I describe myself as 'decisive and independently minded'?' - 'Would you describe me as 'decisive and independently minded'?'

"While you were on vacation, Zooker, a motion was made and seconded to saw five and a half inches off your chair legs."

'Sorry Sir, but 'impersonating a log' is not a very marketable skill...'

I was rapidly rising to my level of incompetence, so I started screwing up just enough to maintain job security.