Homeware Enthusiast Gifts

"What 'Do-not-knock' list?"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"I didn't spark joy."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

Posh Easter Egg

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

Beyond Dante

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

King Madras

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

Pea green

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"How did you get him to do housework?"

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

'Yes,I did bag him from a treestand.How did you guess?'

Woman crushed under satin sheets.