Homemade Gift Admirer Pillows

"Gladys, look! My kids made me a card for Mother's Day!"

'Smith, we need more creativity. You have to learn to think outside the box.'

Lactose Intolerant

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

'I take back everything I said about this sweater you knitted for me.'

'Hey, mac, is this your idea of glasnost?'

"We scarf. We bracelet. We earring. We brooch. In brief, ladies, we accessorize."

He'll never melt. I made him from fast food milkshakes.

Butterfly Woman

Sun Wearing Sunglasses/Moon Wearing Night Vision Goggles

Artisanal Pottery

Poorly planned Chanukah crafts

'First, let me apologize for suggesting you throw horseshoes as therapy.'

Welcome centre

Chilli Quartet

Crocheting during lockdown

'Would our taxes be any cheaper if we lived in a sketcher?'

'There's really no need for confusion. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L clearly explains ...'

'Minibar' - A HotelMotel with an actual miniature Bar and Bartender in its minibar fridge.

Old lady posts adverts for fur gloves over poster of a lost cat,

"You paid to have a grain of sand named after me? You're such an idiot."

Flat pack sales assistant

'I know we asked for a room with running water,but...'

"What did your tia Carmen get you for Christmas?"

optician

'Hybrid Genetix: Sand Snullet.'

'...but he does put up a lovely shelf.'

"I don't think the new guy is working out."

'... and that one is yours!'

"Sorry Rudolph, this year I'm going with Steve and his sweet disco ball nose."

It's the thought that counts: Totally useless gifts.

'Oh no! It's the flying gardener.'

Inflatable Cows

Missing persons - "So he was due back yesterday after going out for a paper twelve months ago."

'Would you believe it? — nothing but rubber singing fish!'