Home Transformation Guru Gifts

Home Maintenance - Decorating.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

A holiday at home

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

"It's a lot of work, but we've decided to renovate this old factory."

House for sale - some assembly required.

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

"We're looking for something more over-the-couch-ish."

"I've fallen in love with red paint."

Spring Cleaning

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

Sleeping on the Job

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

'I'm redecorating my den and need a 16 point buck for the wall - see to it, Pendleton!'

'That'll be $50 plus $200 to repair the damage you made trying to fix it yourself.'

Planning permission REFUSED...

'It would be just like my husband not to like the color.'

Umbrella Roof

"Everything you need for self-assembly."

'Hmmmm...lower.'

Man buys 'Do It Yourself' helper.