Home Transformation Guru Pillows

Home Maintenance - Decorating.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

A holiday at home

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

"It's a lot of work, but we've decided to renovate this old factory."

'Yeah, strictly speaking it's a hole, but I prefer to think of it as a bijou hole.'

Over 50 shades of grey available.

House for sale - some assembly required.

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

"We're looking for something more over-the-couch-ish."

"I've fallen in love with red paint."

Spring Cleaning

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'

'That'll be $50 plus $200 to repair the damage you made trying to fix it yourself.'

Eggshell blue

"Everything you need for self-assembly."

'Hmmmm...lower.'

Umbrella Roof

"You see? You gotta turn it counter-clockwise."

Sleeping on the Job

Man buys 'Do It Yourself' helper.

'I'm redecorating my den and need a 16 point buck for the wall - see to it, Pendleton!'

'It would be just like my husband not to like the color.'

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

"When things have returned to normal I might take this up for a living whaddya thing?!!"