Home Transformation Enthusiast Gifts

Careless movers.

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

'Got any changing rooms to try this one on?'

"I used to do interiors but these days I take what I can get."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'I found the termites!'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

'Letting him buy the stupid guns was the only way I'd ever get him to paint the house.'

"There's nothing like new carpeting to freshen up a place, I say."

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.