Home Transformation Enthusiast T-Shirts

Vacu-move - discount movers.

'Yep. I used to use chemical to strip wallpaper, but the cats are more efficient, and there's no nasty smell.'

Careless movers.

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

'Got any changing rooms to try this one on?'

"I used to do interiors but these days I take what I can get."

"Do you like this settee - oh, stop. How often do I ask you to go furniture shopping?"

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'I found the termites!'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

'Letting him buy the stupid guns was the only way I'd ever get him to paint the house.'

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"