House Makeover Enthusiast Gifts

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

Let's get organized

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

"...when you're through in there, my kids room could use a demonstration too."

'I wanted a change in decor.'

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

Over 50 shades of grey available.

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

'Letting him buy the stupid guns was the only way I'd ever get him to paint the house.'

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

'Hmmmm...lower.'

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

Eggshell blue

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

"Honey, look-those are the tiles I was thinking about for the kitchen."

"Would you go nuts if I paint EVERYTHING pink!?"

Castle Cellars: Bob's Basement Waterproofing