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Wildlife in Herb's Apartment

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Leaning Tower of Pisa

"This isn't Dublin. It's not even Ireland. Repeat after me, dear: 'I'll never buy a second-hand sat nav as a bargain again.'"

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

On holiday...

'All the crabs you can eat, $1.00. But first you have to catch them.'

'My doctor wants me to cut back on road salt.'

"He didn't do squat for cats."

Historic and Modern Bath

For services to Tourism. . .

'If anybody's gotta go, this is the time to speak up.'

"It's a nice unit, but there may be a faint odor from the last tenant..." "Yeah, enough to make you faint."

'I hope we don't start getting competition from redundant bankers homes.'

"No, sir, this isn't Positano. It's the Jersey Shore."

Le Roi Kong

Noah's Ark

'Those aren't smoke rings... they're Hawaiian Leis.'

"Dad can we stop pushing this backdrop and go on a real vacation?"

Grim Reaper Checkout

"And this is our extended family room."

Foreigners in Paris - Foreigners staring at one another believing the other to be Parisian

'Of course, times have changed. The Earl and Countess now live in that folly!'

Crossing the Road

'I'll see you guys when you get there.'

"I call it 'Organised Cabinet Number One'."

'Here comes the stars and stripes.'

With attendance falling, aquariums are turning to alternate sources of revenue.

"I don't know this guy but right here the dog of a famous celeb has vomited because of too much champagne! See? History is my speciality!"

'Never misplace a remote control again with this RemoteT-shirt, velcro combo!'

The popular tourist attraction of England's Cheddar cave paintings.