Touring Fan Pillows

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

The Vineyard

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

Our visit to the flan factory.

Leaning Tower of Pisa

"'Course I've seen one before...but never one that ate peanuts!"

"This isn't Dublin. It's not even Ireland. Repeat after me, dear: 'I'll never buy a second-hand sat nav as a bargain again.'"

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'

Chris Froome

Cave Paintings Audio Guide

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

'Has he been out with your mother by any chance?'

On holiday...

"These are wonderful, precious years before he learns that he's benefitting from institutional racism."

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

The successful rubbernecker...

"Last weekend I went to Orlando for the DisneyWorld re-opening."

Going to the pub with kids...

"He didn't do squat for cats."

Historic and Modern Bath

A heat wave threatens an old woman.

"Just how powerful of a fan did you put in your computer?"

Tour de France champ Fausto Coppi

'If anybody's gotta go, this is the time to speak up.'

For services to Tourism. . .

'My doctor wants me to cut back on road salt.'

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

Bernard Hinault

Tour de France champ Gregory LeMond.

Tour de France champ Octave Lapize

'Honestly Fred, we're only here for the day trip.'

'Those aren't smoke rings... they're Hawaiian Leis.'

There's a fork in the road.

Heat Wave Podium