Touring Enthusiast Pillows

What everyone thinks tour is like vs. what tour is actually like.

The Vineyard

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

Easter Island legs

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Airlines

'What zip code are we in now?'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

Bad fake tan day.

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

Fight or Flight

Man stood by signpost to 'here' or 'there'.

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

Walking Luggage.

'Are we there yet?'

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

The only way to see the world is to see the world

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

The World's Easiest Airport

Tourists in Egypt

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

"Excuse me, but for some reason you have us traveling with our kids."