Touring Fans Pillows

Niagra Falls catchphrase - 'I have to go to the bathroom.'

The Vineyard

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

Leaning Tower of Pisa

"This isn't Dublin. It's not even Ireland. Repeat after me, dear: 'I'll never buy a second-hand sat nav as a bargain again.'"

'Filby, we've decided to accept your suggestion for air conditioning!'

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

Cave Paintings Audio Guide

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

'Why can't we go on a field trip to heaven?

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

The successful rubbernecker...

'My doctor wants me to cut back on road salt.'

'If anybody's gotta go, this is the time to speak up.'

"First of all, I'd like to thank all of the little pumpkins who made this night possible."

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

Bernard Hinault

'I hope we don't start getting competition from redundant bankers homes.'

Noah's Ark

Le Roi Kong

There's a fork in the road.

'Got any road movies?'

Crossing the Road

Animals crossing (to get to the Ark).

Right Lane Must Hit Tree

Tour de France, Yorkshire.