Home Sweet Home Newbie Gifts

"First time buyers have always been my favorite clients."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

LAY ZEE FUK

Lady of the Cake.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Allotment

Gardener

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"And this is our media room."

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Rose Garden

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

Beach Barbecue

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

'With my parents out of the house, I can finally start my long awaited mural project.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Get... a-nother room!"

Candle Portraits.

"The following film has been formatted to fir the screen of the newer and more expensive television set."

Getting to Know You