Home Style Strategist Gifts

'I'm looking for a coffee table to match this book.'

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"What should I wear to the living room today?"

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Hats: Management/Good Job/Friendly but Aloof.

'I've got it written down...'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

Caveman applying wallpaper cave paintings

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

'But what do you sell?'

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'Sure it looks bad now, but try to imagine it with the right shoes.'

'Decorating on a shoestring'

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

"Painted like this, finding furniture to match at least one colour should be simple!"

Wearing all black