Home Staging Gifts

"Just a little staging for the open house. Homes with a double garage sell faster."

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'As your realtor I felt it was important to stage your house.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Home depot."

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

"Too bright."

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Sunday P.M. July 15, 1990 in the Watternods' Living Room with the Watternods' Dog and Mr. Wu Lung's Cat from Next Door

Moving in

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

'I wanted a change in decor.'

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

Hell No Kitty

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Man and woman buying furniture.

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

"What should I wear to the living room today?"

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

"Oh, we've got to nip this little trick in the bud right away."

"5...4...3...2..."

Pollock Painting Company

The sofa freshly made up...

"Potential buyers of the company are coming through today. Tell everyone to look sharp and put a few bowls of potpourri here and there."