Home Staging Expert Gifts

"I'm not sure why our realtor recommended getting a home staging expert."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"I didn't spark joy."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

Theatre Masks and Butts

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

"Toi Toi Toi!"

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Knickerless Cage.

We're putting on a subtraction.

"WOW...this 50.1 theatre sound system makes you feel you're actually in the movie!"

"A glimpse into a cartoon character's dressing room..."

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

Cleaner cleaning under the feet of the dancers as they perform

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

"You can't beat the smell of the greasepaint..."

I Pagliacci

"Dad, why do they tell actors to "break a leg?""

Broadway Moosical.

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

'I wanted a change in decor.'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

Performance In The Bedroom

'People are staring at us because they've never seen private box seats at an off broadway theatre before.'