Home Stager Gifts

"Just a little staging for the open house. Homes with a double garage sell faster."

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

Attack of the Creeping Doily

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"I didn't spark joy."

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

"...when you're through in there, my kids room could use a demonstration too."

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

Shower curtain call.

"Potential buyers of the company are coming through today. Tell everyone to look sharp and put a few bowls of potpourri here and there."

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Living together, couple in love.

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

Janitor sweeping music notes off of concert stage.

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

'We need to update our gravel, install a fake treasure chest, and get one of those lifelike scuba divers. Apparently, it's all about curb appeal.'

The Burbs

'It's a prize for being first to go home.'

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

Location, Location, Location - Next 3 exits.

"Nice, but it's still a fish bowl. We'd like something with a little more privacy."

'Our house is being staged. Dad says we've got a good shot at getting in - if we can pass the audition.'

Homeowners.

"Actually, I think having the lived-in look can help sell your house. Just make sure it looks lived-in by rich people."

'That's it! The lost chord!'

Chess cleaner

"I'm not sure why our realtor recommended getting a home staging expert."

Coming Home

Things you did wrong today...

Staycation holidays...

"My husband works from home."