Home Front Stage Managers Gifts

The Burbs

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

Theatre Masks and Butts

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

"Toi Toi Toi!"

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

Knickerless Cage.

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

"A glimpse into a cartoon character's dressing room..."

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

Man is successfully leaping over chasm.

"Dad, why do they tell actors to "break a leg?""

I Pagliacci

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

Broadway Moosical.

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

"You can't beat the smell of the greasepaint..."

Cleaner cleaning under the feet of the dancers as they perform

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

Businessman with two boxes: 'Innovate' and 'Out of Date'

Entertainment systems

'People are staring at us because they've never seen private box seats at an off broadway theatre before.'

Performance In The Bedroom

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"