Staging Gifts

Janitor sweeping music notes off of concert stage.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Just be yourself."

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'They all want to play the star.'

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

Theatre Masks and Butts

Taking a peek at the audience

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"Toi Toi Toi!"

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

Scarpia from Tosca

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

Woman crying with happiness.

Ladies

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."