Home Shopping Enthusiast Pillows

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

Mail order.

Gregor Samsa III, who doesn't go out much, calls in a large order to the shopping channel.

'We've gone way over our credit limit...I want a v-chip to block the home shopping channel!'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"I didn't spark joy."

Cut Price

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

A women in a shoeshop.

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"You're welcome."

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

A young couple selects items from a shop.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

Posh Easter Egg

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."