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Dial-A-Shrine

"Ironically, this is the living room."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"I didn't spark joy."

Cut Price

A women in a shoeshop.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"You're welcome."

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

A young couple selects items from a shop.

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

Customer Convention

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

'Do you have this in a smaller size?'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."