Home Shopping Enthusiast Gifts

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

Mail order.

Gregor Samsa III, who doesn't go out much, calls in a large order to the shopping channel.

'We've gone way over our credit limit...I want a v-chip to block the home shopping channel!'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"I didn't spark joy."

Cut Price

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

A women in a shoeshop.

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"You're welcome."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

A young couple selects items from a shop.

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

Posh Easter Egg

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

'Do you have this in a smaller size?'