Home-sharer Pillows

The Boarding-House

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

Two Players both holding the same cue.

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

So...this is the roommate. Awkward...

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

'Oh, you nasty sluggard!'

"First of all, this conversation never happened."

"Charlie's really interested in co-operative housing..."

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

"I found this place on Waterbnb."

"Everyone here is bonding over pictures of their dogs."

'She blogged her first word today.'

"As you can see this is pretty embarrassing so I'd appreciate keeping it between you, me and this fence post."

"We'll you're never gonna get it."

Ear Bud Hijacking

"I've been thinking about what you said about three living as cheaply as two"

'OK that's ten pieces of silver each, except for Judas...you had the Greek salad and the cheese platter, so you owe thirty pieces of silver.'

"And FYI, Iggy has night terrors."

"Ooooh, she's tall! Good! Come in! I'll put away the flame thrower."

"Never be afraid to take me into your confidence, Sally, I'm very partial to stoolies."

"Let's both read it. Then we'll have something to talk about."

"And here's a shot of us showing you pictures from our last vacation."

"I don't care if 'Pet Rescue' is on - get off my chair!"

'Of course I can keep a secret, but not for very long.'

"I always enjoy our talks."

"Eve, if I tell you something can you keep it a secret?"

"I don't know why people say TV has killed the art of conversation, it's all we ever talk about."

Your mower will be returned...and your neighbour will borrow it.

"The boss hates our proposal, but on a positive note, he gave me a Facebook 'like' on my cheesy pesto bread!"

Phone Gossip

"I was asked not to repeat this so I've written it down for you."