Home Ruler Gifts

The dominant male leaves a pungent marker to identify his territory. It's a warning to others...keep away!

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

"That doesn't look like setting the table to me."

Teddy queuing for the Bathroom

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

A politician's dream come true...

'Mr. Fitzburger, didn't we agree on a no-pets-in-the-apartment policy?!!'

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

'Interactive TV news.'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

"Why, this is fit for me!"

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

"You'll have to fetch your own slippers. The dog resigned."

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

"Look what I bought to encourage visitors to go home early."

"Come on... you love knocking things off the counter!"

'They say a man's home is his castle...here's your sceptre, your highness, the throne is plugged!'

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

Mouse showing wife the heart shaped mouse he has made

'Your Majesty could have gold fish in the moat.'

"I am a control freak."

"Here comes the sports section!"

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

"I want an eponymous retail empire when I grow up, Greg. What do you want?"

'I know, I left the electric blanket on too long.'

"This is our coffeemaker room."

"You rang?"